Kids have their own way with everything. When they get on to something, they do not let anyone go ahead of them. Whether it’s about a race or their love for tomato ketchup. They are here to preach and maybe outlive the rest of us. Because you know what? They are damn funny too.
Take out your notebooks and pens because this is going to be so enlightening for all of us. Jot down the notes and learn from the younger generation. They will make you understand how humor works. And it is goddarn funny.
1. The best game strategy we have ever seen.
Me: “Why are these Legos all over the floor?!”
5: “To keep everyone else away; it’s my computer turn.”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 21, 2017
2. You should always celebrate your achievements.
My cousin just posted this picture of his son. Look how excited and proud he is of where he put all the carrots. I’m cracking up pic.twitter.com/fVETR5FXZU
— $HMADI (@madddiiison) December 3, 2016
3. Now, we all know why.
4-year-old: Does your work chair spin?
Me: It sure does
4: Do you spin it lots?
Me: No, I’m not supposed to.
4: No wonder you hate work.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 17, 2017
4. The best sticker we have seen this year.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy’s card?
Me (in bed): Yes.
3yo: Will he love it?
Me: Yes. pic.twitter.com/TJepUORQwH
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 21, 2015
5. There should be a kid’s vocabulary in the market. It sounds dope.
2yo referred to her coat pockets as “snack holes” and this is what I shall forever call them
— Rebecca Caprara (@RebeccaCaprara) February 23, 2018
6. No one tells a kid that he is wrong.
When my youngest brother was little he was being bullied and went to my parents for help. They told him “Sticks and stones may break my bones” they then asked him to finish the phrase and he said “but chains and whips excite me” he seriously thought that was he second part.
— Max (@maxpalumbo5) January 3, 2018
7. He surely looks like he needs some help.
We taught our baby sign language. This is the sign for “help.” You’re welcome. pic.twitter.com/i6NkxBf4KP
— Kerry Spencer (@Swilua) December 5, 2017
8. Oh, look all the care he is throwing your way. *cries in a corner*
My toddler randomly handed me lotion and pointed to my feet.
I’ve never felt so loved and simultaneously disrespected in my life.
— Smoothie Bae (@CoachPSays) December 31, 2017
9. She knows what are her priorities. Show respect.
L**O MY BABY SISTERS BAG pic.twitter.com/5i9qA8E3gq
— Ed (@LovelnTheSky) January 29, 2016
10. We can keep on playing this fun game forever.
Me: [in bathroom]
7yo: [knocks] MOMMY?
Me: Yeah pal
7: IT’S ME
Me: I know
7: YOUR SON
Me: Knew that too
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 19, 2016
10. No one can win against a kid on a carousel horse.
7: I’m beating you!
7: I’m way ahead!
Me: I see that.
7: I’m gonna win!
My son on the carousel horse in front of me.
— Master of Mediocrity (@charliedelta7) March 13, 2016
11. This kid knows what s/he wants in life.
4-year-old: Why do you go to work?
Me: They pay me a salary.
4-year-old: I don’t even like celery.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) February 28, 2015
12. This is what we call money well-spent.
13. When you have life goals right in front of you.
It was princess day at dance and one little girl came as a hot dog I have never admired someone more pic.twitter.com/iro5mL2Bvc
— Grayson Lamontagne (@graysonl3) May 9, 2016
15. You should have your facts double checked before messing with a kid.
4yo:*takin sip of my Dr. Pepper* what flavor is that?
4yo:*looks at me like I’m a moron* That’s not a flavor, that’s a person.
— Red (@Snarkles77) August 19, 2017
16. Isn’t that we all want?
I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup pic.twitter.com/gDcrGcjG13
— Anicca✨ (@13adh13) January 23, 2016
17. Oh, how damn painful this one is!
Audrey (3yo): Tweet tweet!
Me: Aw, are you a birdy?
Audrey: Yes! I’m a mommy bird!
Me: Where are your babies?
Audrey: They’re eggs! They’re so cute!!!
Me: And is there a daddy bird?
Audrey, suddenly serious: He died a long time ago
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) March 4, 2018
18. You keep on preaching, young lady.
My 3yo said she wanted to be an astronaut, and I said she had to study hard, go to college, learn a lot of science, and take a physical fitness test, and she shrugged and said, “That’s just 4 things.” So she’s basically a nonchalant motivational speaker.
— jendziura (@jendziura) February 15, 2018